Dreams since young till current date

*=) = fulfilled already
*=( = broken already
*NA = not attempted yet

=) Own a remote controlled airplane
=) Own a dreamcatcher
=) Have the coolest and fastest Tamiya car
=) Have Guppies
=) Have a dog
=) Collext 100 milo cans
=) Do 20 pull ups at one go
=) Nurture a plant and pluck its fruit (did it with a chilli plant)
=( Fill Piggybank with $1 coins
=( Sail around the world in a paper boat
=( Swing a swing 360 degrees
NA Build a snowman
NA Fly a kite (how sad!)


=( Do well in O Levels
=) Do well in A Levels
=( Be a pilot
=) Be an Officer of the Singapore Armed Forces
=) Write a poem
=( March in National Day Parade
NA Drive a car
NA Watch an orchestra
NA Watch a live musical play
NA Have a bottle of Inniskillin white wine all to myself


=) Cycle around Singapore
=) Shoot a gun, blow a bomb and launch a missile
=) Catch a fish
=) Sleep in the great outdoors under the open sky
=) See a shooting star
NA Go skydiving
NA Dive in the Great Barrier Reef
NA Visit the Tioman Islands


=) Bring grandma out for meal
=) Dedicate one full day to sister
=) Have a girlfriend
=) Treat family to a fantastic meal
=) Fish with Dad
=) Cook with mum
=) Have a quiet, homecooked, relaxed dinner with whole family
NA Learn Baking
NA Cook for my future wife
NA Have 2 children
NA Marry
NA Open a provision shop when I'm old
NA Live in a small, quiet community
NA Visit Aunty Yonie in the Phillipines

"If" by Rudyard Kipling


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;





















If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Children are playful. They run around, satisfy their hunger for fun and games, and do everything they can to shun their parents because they want to be free. But when the thunderstorm comes, these kids run into their parent's bedrooms to find safety in their arms and presence and in it they sleep tight.

We, as young adults, and many of the older ones, laugh at such behaviour. We think we are mature, able to handle ourselves and the times and tides. We want our freedom, our will, our way. Only in the face of overwhelming darkness, when all other avenues fail, we find ourselves yearning to return, once again, to the arms of the Almighty...

And yet we laugh at them...

life and games

There was a night before book in, I was with my dad talking. The conversation led to reminiscing our young days, of fun and friends and learning. Eventually we recalled the games we used to enjoy, some of which we invented, some of which ran in the family, some of which my sister forced me to play, most of which are forgotten today.

1. 5 stones


2. Erasers! I threw away the whole box of country erasers I won from primary school. Waste.


3. Spinning tops


4. Coin game. Something my primary school class invented. Simply use your coin and knock the others off the table and keep the spoils. An easy way to get a free recess. Muahaha


5. Chateh


6. Hopscotch


7. Swings. Something deemed too dangerous for modern playgrounds. Poor children of today wouldn't get to feel that viking-like experience when their mummies bring them down to play.


8. Crabhouses. We made our own out of mattresses, blankets, pillows and any handy stuff we can get our hands on. I still make them today. Except they are made out of sandbags, groundsheets, iron pickets, camouflaged nettings and stationed with mounted automatic rifles.


9. Seesaws. Another unique part of the playground which has been replaced by those with springs for safety. The damn thing doesn't even go up and down. It just bobs.


10. Skipping ropes


11. Paper pop. We used to make and design new ones and compete to see who makes the loudest pop. The champion wins a prize - the teacher's wrath.


12. Paper mouth. Those 4-way things you fold and write stuff on, and ask your friend to choose a side until it leads to an outcome. Argh. No idea how to describe it clearly.


13. Paper guns. We used to go around pretending they were real and fighting battles with each other. I get to relive that part of my childhood nearly everytime I book in. Somehow, it doesn't seem as fun.


14. Pickup sticks. This was something I played with my sister all the time at my grandmother's home. It is among my most treasured moments.


15. Paper bullets. A mischievious game for mischievious boys.


16. Rubberseeds. I pick them up from Bukit Timah Nature Reserve. Just pierce a hole using a needle and thread a string through it. The same goes for the other end. It both are the same weight, the should swing and bounce off each other when you hold the string in the middle and bob up and down. It gives off a pleasant 'tick tick tick'.


17. String saw. Something my dad taught me. Take a flattened heavy bottle cap, poke two holes just a little away from the centre, put long string through both and tie the ends together. When you pull, the momentum causes the thing to spin, hard and fast like a chainsaw. Usually the string ends up breaking from the friction though.


18. Lallang grass. My dad taught me a method to use the leaves on each side of the stem to launch the stem itself. It flies up and then pokes into the ground like an arrow. Real cool. I still do this all the time during the boring outfield missions. But none of mine flies as high as my dad's.


19. Paper planes. I used to have a book on this. How to make gliders, the hawk, concords..


20. Boomerangs. Those made out of ice cream sticks, that is.


21. Sepaktakraw. (no idea how to spell it)


22. Waterbomb fights. Another childhood game my sister and I used to play at our corridor.


23. Paperboats. I never get tired of watching it float down the drain. Even today. It gives me a real peaceful feeling. Sometimes I wish I could sail the world in a paperboat.


24. Blanko wheels. Use up the blanko, but do not detach the long stretch of paper. Just uncoil it and throw the wheel around. It makes a real cool trail.


25. Liquid paper pods. Another primary school game. We used to squeeze large amounts of liquid paper on a surface and once the top layer has dried, pop them. The teachers usually know; it isn't hard to see our white fingers.


26. Spinning pen caps


27. G2 Pilot pen guns.


28. Guppy fishing. Something my dad and I used to do. For some reason, there aren't guppies in the drains today anymore.


29. Shooting ice cubes. I used to be deadly accurate, because of all the practice I get. Heh heh heh.


30. Skimming stones on water. Another thing that I never get tired of. The most I got was 5 bounces.


31. Sweet wrapper whistling


32. Armpit farts. A primary school favourite. Once one starts, the rest follows. Imagine a whole class filled with farting sounds.


33. Water bottle cyclones


34. Water bottle waterguns


35. Small rubber balls. The kind easily available from the $1 machines. Not common these days though.


36. Blue tack. I used to stretch and fold them the same way La Mian Xiao Long Bao makes their noodles.


37. Magnets. My dad gave me some really strong ones that couldn't be purchased from the common bookshop. With one under the table and another above it, I had all sorts of fun. Killed plenty of boring lesson time as well.


38. Metal puzzles. Those that were sold in bookstores. The goal was to take out a certain piece and it can only be done in a certain way. I hated the thinking required, but my sister eventually got me addicted to it.

I couldn't help but notice how these games were so simple, yet at that time it was worth hours of entertainment and joy. Somehow, it seemed like what made it enjoyable was not the game itself, but the interaction with the people playing it. The time we devoted to one another, privileged and blessed with each other's company. I think that's what brings meaning to the game.

Likewise, relationships and loved ones are the things that bring meaning to life. Since my enlistment in the army, there as been a shift in focus from pride and prestige to people and God. Many other things seem less important now. The things that now take hold are the things that have always been there, things I've taken for granted. Things that matter. And in the bonds and memories we share, there is always a deep, spiritual value hidden in it, though sometimes it is left to fade or be forgotten.

beauty in a foreign land

I've been training in Thailand over the past 3 weeks. Many of us in my platoon were upset about having our overseas missions in Thailand and not Taiwan. I felt the same, until I went for a navigational exercise.



I slowly opened my eyes to the surroundings as my team and I trekked day and night through the countryside. There is a profound beauty hidden in the land. The place is really open and spacious. A mountainous scenery laid in the background. The local villages we passed through were small, simple and humble. Its people were friendly and sincere. The elderly wove at us and spoke words we did not understand, but their warm smiles were already a greeting. The children ran to us with curious eyes. I'm guessing they were intrigued by our foreign faces and rifles.



At night, the temperature would shift from scorching hot to shivering cold. By last light, every breath came out as smoke. From what I heard, Thailand was declared in a state of emergency because some places dropped as low as 2 degrees celcius. Our training area reached about 5. My closest friends and I would gather in our harbouring area to share a fire. Every night was pure magic. The night skies in Thailand are dotted with stars for as far as the eyes can see. Under those skies we would warm ourselves and cook hot meals while sharing our goals and future plans. Sometimes, we would keep quiet and watch the wood burn and crackle, or appreciate the sparkling stars.




At those times, life couldn't have gotten any better. I felt so blessed, I would have died a happy man. God was with me.


The experience was unlike any trip I've been to. No packaged tour or outing has ever inculcated such a rich and meaningful experience. These memories I now have are priceless. Yet another story to tell my future grandchildren. =)



It's a pity any photos we take on training are automatically restricted, but I found some photos on the Net that roughly show how the place looks. Lots of sugercane and tapioca plantations, some padi fields, very spacious.

my mum

I remember a time back when I was in OCS Service Term. It was just before book in, and at those times I would be extremely depressed and down. Just an hour before setting off, my mum started singing some Christian songs softly while carrying out some chores. It wasn't the nicest, or the strongest, or the most perfect voice. It was a little out of tune. But at that moment I felt my ears being greeted by the sweetest sounds. It was the most soothing, most beautiful, mood-lifting voice on earth at that point in time. Familiarity always seem to make the ordinary extraordinary, just like how simple home-cooked food is more heartwarming and enjoyable than the sophisticated restaurant dishes.



I've gone through 25 weeks in OCS so far. Through these times, there were the highs and lows - mostly lows, that I've faced not just with the support of my friends but my family as well. All this while, one person stood by me the most. She is none other then my mum.



Every week, she helps me get the things I need, washes my clothes (though now I would usually wash most of it in camp), cancels or changes her appointments on weekends to make sure I wouldn't go home to an empty place, cooks my favourite dishes, prays for me, sends me bible verses as a source of motivation, showers me with support and puts herself through all sorts of trouble to make my bookouts a little happier.



I never knew the power of a mother's love to be like that of Christ, especially my mum's silent, sacrificial love for me. She's been the railing along my path - guarding me and guiding me, never making a sound of complaint.



There was a time, when I was so depressed, I talked to my mum and shared about how hard it was to keep going in OCS knowing that my spiritual, social and family life is rotting away. She asked me, "Why don't you quit? Why do you still want to stay in there?"



I teared and replied, "For you."



She was heartbroken and told me not to do it for her, but to glorify God instead. She didn't want to see me suffer to make her proud, and told me that even if I chose to quit, she was already extremely proud of me. It was just like in the past during my 'A's when she told me not to stress myself out too much to get good results. Most parents do the reverse. Their kids do the reverse in return.



It's hard to believe such understanding, angel-like parents you would normally only see in TV serials, exist in real life. But not to me, because she's as real as can be. My mum's an angel. She's blessed and is a blessing to others. To me, she's the bestest mum in the world.



Thank you mum.

My 4th Dimension

It's been a long time since I sat down to think. The last time I did, my brain flowed with creative juices, pondering on how a person goes about balancing issues and aspects in life. I would often tell myself "what's there not to write when the unwritten has yet to be?". But now my mind goes blank all the time. I get the same feeling you would get when starting an essay. It's like an empty piece of paper with so many lines to fill, yet so little words to do the job.

Ever since my enlistement into the army, I've hardly taken any time to exercise my brains even though opportunities were there for the taking. My peaceful, slow-paced routine has almost been completely taken over by the regimentation. My ability to be sharp, observant, to think, and my appreciation for the simple things that once brought me joy gradually deteriorated. I feel my life becoming..ordinary. If there's one thing I fear most, it would be going through life without living it, without having the moments to take in the sights and sounds, without experiencing its joys and pains, or knowing how it is to live a life intertwined with a special other. Who wouldn't want a life rich with meaning and memories and die knowing that they will be remembered for it and more? Imagine my future children telling my future grandchildren, "let me tell you another great story of your ah gong..".

Back to where I am. I wrote this on a notebook while on training in Brunei. After Exercise Hornbill, I got heat exhaustion. The medical officer told me that the risk of heat stroke within one week after getting heat exhaustion is high and therefore, I was pulled out of the Jungle Confidence Course (JCC). JCC is, to many, the pride of an Infantry Officer and a mark of a true soldier as it is to me. Naturally, I was really upset, and a little guilty having nothing to do in bunk while the rest were suffering out in the field. Though I longed to be there with them, learning to survive and to overcome the pain and hunger, there was nothing I could do. Damn.

But on one of the nights, I took a messtin, solid fuel, cereal and some water out to the rocky area to cook up a warm nightsnack. With my little fire I sat in that open rocky area under the night sky. I found myself once again slipping into that space and time lapse, that familiar "realm of quiteness". I sat there for hours, remembering God's work in this world and that life is blessed.

It was the picture-perfect scene.

I now realise how much of a blessing it is to have the time and freedom to just sit and think. It's wonderful. When I do so, time stands still. My mood, my thoughts, my surroundings, everything will be calm and serene, and the noise in my mind will cease to sound. It's like going into a place with a perfect aura of tranquility I like to refer to as my 4th dimension. It's where a pure wave of silence washes over me as if Jesus stood over the storm in my mind and commanded it to be still.

How I miss having the time to seek peace in my little 4th dimension.

the importance of a sister

The Importance Of A Sister
© Shiv Sharma

A sister is someone who loves you from the heart,
No matter how much you argue you cannot be drawn apart.
She is a joy that cannot be taken away,
Once she enters your life, she is there to stay.

A friend who helps you through difficult times,
Her comforting words are worth much more than dimes.
A partner who fills your life with laughs and smile,
These memories last for miles and miles.

When she is by your side, the world is filled with life,
When she is not around, your days are full of strife.
A sister is a blessing, who fills your heart with love,
She flies with you in life with the beauty of a dove.

A companion to whom you can express your feelings,
She doesn’t let you get bored at family dealings.
Whether you are having your ups or downs,
She always helps you with a smile and never frowns.

With a sister you cannot have a grudge,
She is as sweet as chocolate and as smooth as fudge.
Having a sister is not just a trend,
It is knowing you can always turn to her, your best friend.

The house is so much less lively now that my sister has flown back into the UK for her studies. The last weekend I spent with her was among the most memorable times we had together. Thank God for technology; we can call each other, and I can remember the moments in these photographs. Doesn't it give you a warm, fuzzy feeling when you reminisce on lovely moments on heartwarming pictures like these?

I love you jiejie! Jiayou for this year, I'll keep you in my prayers. =)

service term in ocs

6 Weeks down. 32 Weeks more to go. Time flies when you look back. But when you're living in time, it doesn't. It goes by, minute by minute, second by second. And in OCS, there's never enough time. This picture I chanced upon caught my eye because it really depicts my state of mind when I'm in camp.



So many things have been going on in the outside world. What had happened to Mr Koh. My friends about to take their A levels. Others who have entered yet another journey in polytechnic or university. All the events going on in church. Everything and anything, I have missed them all. I see photos, blog posts and people sharing their experiences. But my face, my name is not there. Everytime I meet people during bookouts, I feel like they have changed from the last time I met them. Because I am training in the army, ignorant about the civilian world, living under the terms of my commanders. And while everyone seems to be going on an open path in life, I feel like there is a gigantic wall on mine and I have to climb over it, step by step. But every step I go, I get a little stronger.



It's a different world in here. The outside depicts issues of the world, society, family, personal lives, you name it, its there on the list. Commercialism, freedom, work, school, recreation, business, politics, its all there. In here, we simply follow orders or request for certain things which, if granted, will be ordered and we will follow them as well. We live in our own, little, isolated, authoritarian world. What runs in our heads like programs are discipline, initiative, teamwork, efficiency, awareness and so on. It is pure leadership training, brainwashing. But it's effective. I've thought about the philosophy behind leading men at times. One thought that stood out was how a leader leads his men, for his men. He accounts for them, ensures their welfare, their safety, their training, their lives. He is there to stand above them as their commander, but also beside them, as their friend and support. In other words, what I realised was that a leader was, in a sense, a servant of those he leads.



By the way, my shins have been hurting for weeks, so I reported it a few days back. The medical officer recommended me for an x-ray scan, which I went for on wednesday. The report should have been out on friday, but the radiographer went on leave. So, I have to go for fieldcamp as it is. Hope there's no serious problem with my legs.


Random Photo. From left to right: Joel, Shao Jun (my BMT buddy), Me. Both were among the closest friends I had in BMT. You can already see our personalities in our expressions. Good ol' days.. =)

the days gone

I recall the days, when I would sit in my room with my eyes upon the evening skies and a glass of cold milk in my hands, thanking God for the beauty I see.

I recall the days, when I would lay on my bed, recalling the memories imprinted in photographs with a heartfelt smile.


I recall the days, when I was baking with my sister, trying out new recipes and sniffing in that wonderful scent of satisfaction when the oven door opens.


I recall the days, when I was sharing with my mum on problematic issues, gaining advice and finding new perspectives.


I recall the days, when I was fishing with my dad, enjoying the sea breeze and the beautiful sound of gentle waves while bobbing the line up and down.

I recall the days, when I laid on my sofa with my snacks, my dog and my remote control, watching documentaries and enjoying the life of a couch potato.


I recall the days, when I would sit down and spend hours in deep thought, questioning myself on the issues and aspects of life.


I recall the days, when I would stroll to my destinations at a relaxing pace, taking in the sights and sounds and observing how daily life runs its course around me.

I recall the days, when I would enjoy long bus rides with instrumentals playing in my ears, plunging myself deep into the world of imagination.


I recall the days, when I would take everything slow, yet live my time to the fullest, finding fulfillment in the simplest of things.


I recall the days, when I was not doing anything, but I was not doing nothing.

I miss those days.

start of ocs

3 weeks confinement - I felt like dying on the first. I'm back from OCS finally! And through these 3 weeks, I feel like I've gone through 3 months.


It was the first time I felt so homesick. The bunks in OCS consists of only 2 beds unlike BMT where there are multiple beds which makes it really a whole lot more vibrant and easier to socialise. But here, its much lonelier and the compact room makes me think of home and church more. In fact, there was once I was in the bunk alone. Nothing but the sound of the fan whirring. I sat down to study but I started to think about friends and family instead. Everything else I tried to focus on would eventually drift to that point. Then I went on to read the mails my church friends sent. Encouraging words, smiley faces, updates on the outside world, verses, kind remarks...I cried.


Things are really of a higher standard there. An Officer Cadet has to be perfect. Any screw-up, and the stress will be heavy. So heavy, that I literally feel squeezed by the air sometimes. We train, then study, then train, and study non-stop. During lectures, it's so hard to keep awake that some of us can doze off, jerk our heads and wake up over and over in 6-second cycles. In fact, we call it fighting the Z-monster. On the surface, the eyelids are half-closed and the head is drooping. Behind the scenes, the mind is working like hell, trying to keep awake. It's really an invisible battle.


3 weeks have passed. 35 weeks more to go. I have no idea what to expect. Those who have made it through OCS always seem to have changed drastically. They seem more mature, more composed. They seem more decisive and firm. They appreciate people and time more. They become more brotherly and selfless. They become men. They become upholders of deep-rooted values. They have their principles and style. They are quick in thinking, and beyond that, they make wiser decisions. They are leaders. They are Officers.



I am going to be one.

A minute passed.

It was admin time in our bunk back in Rocky Hill (Pulau Tekong), in the morning just after our 24km route march. I simply sat on the table and stared at the clock blankly. A few minutes later I kind of 'woke up' and realised something a little child would know - the clock doesn't stop ticking. Since the clock did not have glass plate over it (kinda got smashed a few weeks back) I placed my finger in front of the second hand. Tap. Tap. Tap. The second hand no longer moved forward. I was probably too tired at that time because I asked myself the strangest question I've ever asked, and it took me 5 seconds to answer it. Has time stopped?


I wonder what was going through my semi-operative mind then. Yet, as I now recall, there were many points in time when I've wished for the ability to control time. I've wished for time to stop. I've wished for time to rewind. I've always wished it after making mistakes - mistakes which burden my shoulders with regrets. There were times when I've prayed with all my heart that I would wake up and find myself back in time, so that I could live the life that has past over again, without the mistakes I've made before. That was how my heart ached in the past.


But the clock that I stared at doesn't stop ticking. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. It just wouldn't stop. And time goes by, minute by minute. The wishes I made are like stars, attractive but unreachable. In other words - fantasies, poison. I guess I'm still in the process of learning that mistakes in the past have to be corrected in the present. And that I have to learn to let go...


Thinking about time also made me reflect once more on my life. About a quarter of my life has past. What have I been doing through the years? Have I been growing up? Or simply growing older? Have I made a difference? Have my dreams grown bigger, or have they grown dead? Am I more pure-hearted now, or was I more innocent as a child? All my life, I've been digging myself a hole. But as I dig out each clump of soil, I fill it back with memories, friends, family...people..God..everything I've loved and kept in heart, along with the lessons they bring. I've been digging a big hole. Through that, I'm pretty confident that I've grown. I have realised that life cannot be lived without mistakes, but it can be lived without regrets.


The answer to my question was obvious. Time didn't stop. It never will. Understand that life is short. So live happy. Live fulfilled.

Roots and Wings

PJC College Day & Past VS Present Day. I arrived at 2pm in the SAF uniform. I found myself posessing an unusual, forgotten bond to that place I used to frequent. That pleasant familiarity. That place. That school and its teachers. I started to reminisce and recall the good old days. The tides and times. The friendships forged. The journey that led right up to this day. I think I've just discovered my roots, which have grown mysteriously deep from the seed of memories.




Heart of God Church Sunday Service. Pastor How shared about the journey of a dream. It revived the passion in me to think big. To look at the future as an opportunity. To see that I can become a person who leads a life that is different. I found myself holding on to innocent faith, daring to dream against the enemies within - cynicism and doubt. I think I've just discovered my wings, nurtured beyond the voices of society.

And here I am, feeling ever grateful to God, church, teachers and friends for the roots and wings I am now blessed with.

Learning of a Christian

I've just browsed through some of my friends' blogs. Jonathan blogged on what he would be if he weren't a Christian. It made me think about my walk in Christ. Mr Koh blogged on what he has learned in life. It made me think about my walk in life. I began to wonder; what have I learned about living life after accepting Christ?

I've learned that the harder you hold on to love, the heavier it gets. The more you give it away, the more it comes back.

I've learned that happiness is not something to be looked forward to, it's something to be lived everyday.

I've learned that the joy of giving simply beats the joy of receiving.

I've learned that life gets easier when you live for others.

I've learned that when you aspire for greater achievements, yet live contented with the things you have, you will never feel empty.

I've learned that sometimes, a sophisticated mind doesn't choose the right path. A simple heart does.

I've learned that any change hoped for in this old world starts with a change in personal living.

I've learned that life is often as fulfilling as we make it to be.

I've learned that when people condemn you, all the more you shouldn't condemn yourself.

I've learned that your outlook can change your attitude in everything you do.

I've learned that you can tell your true friends even from the simplest conversations.

I've learned that trusting others is hard, but trusting no one is much, much harder.

I've learned that words spoken to another can make the difference between life and death.

I've learned that releasing your emotions is easier then holding on to your pride.

I've learned that everything I've learned is taught by God.

I've learned that my learning will never end. =)

Back from Army!

I'm back from the 2 week confinement!By the way, this is me now. The angle wasn't right so it looks a little freaky though.

Most of the military life is nothing but dirt, sweat and grime. Perspiration squeezed from our bodies and soldiers yelling away the burn in their muscles, it's really extreme at first, but now it has become quite a normal routine. The funny thing is how my platoon mates and I have bonded so quickly. It seemed as though the moment we've shaved our heads we became equals. The rich, the nerds, the crazy, the vulgar, the introverted and such began to mix. It was a little different from the way people are defined and divided in society. That alone helped to restore my faith in Singapore's society, at least by a little bit.

Also, NS did not turn out what I thought it to be. I've heard countless complains of how serving NS is a waste of time and you learn nothing that will be of use in the workplace. I completely disagree. I do believe that the experience and growth one can get out of any situation is as good as what one makes it out to be. I mean, in these 2 short weeks I've improved on my mental discipline tremendously and I'm no longer as lazy as before. Not everything learnt has to be objective, absolute and put into results. It's the intangible things that really matters. Ironically, I've also found myself growing spritually and putting many Christian teachings into practice due to the exposure to a vulgar and harsh environment. I mean, it's not easy keeping myself from scolding the 4 letter word when every single minute someone does and there's always pressure on my shoulders not to screw up. That growth and maturing already makes the time worth it, doesn't it?

And though the routine is extremely rushed with hardly any time for personal activities or relaxation, there's always something good to look forward to. In this case, its the teamwork, bond, the brotherhood that grows each time an obstacle slaps us in the face. It feels great to encourage and be encouraged while going through difficulties together. The sense of us being united as a platoon facing the same demands of a regimental routine feels awesome. It brings back a familiar feeling back when 06S11 was about to take the A's. It also brings back that strange sense of fulfillment needed to charge up and smash that brick wall..